That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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