I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
