If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
