I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
she woke up with a sticky ear
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Randomize
