No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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