the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
