just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
