have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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