he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
