If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
