I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
