I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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