Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
