last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
