I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
