Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Randomize
