Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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