Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
