Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
