New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
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