its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
