Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
