Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
