carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
