My cat gives me a boner
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
