You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Just invented taco cereal.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
