That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
