So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
