I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
