you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
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