he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
