So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
