Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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