As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
