Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
40s are totally the cure
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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