Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
