I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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