Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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