I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Randomize
