have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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