Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
