I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
