like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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