K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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