he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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