you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
