Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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