HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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