Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
