it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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