For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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