"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
