Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
