Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
